Intentional Infliction Of Gas

Several years ago I was working in Louisiana and was only able to fly home to San Diego every other week. I boarded my connection from Houston to San Diego excited that in only 3 more hours I would be home. I took my seat my seat in a fairly jovial mood and was greeted by and older Indian couple sitting next to me. They seemed nice enough and even though they had just finished up some food heavy with the pungent aroma of curry, I was fairly confident this was going to be a good flight.

Flash forward to about an hour into the flight when I started to smell something absolutely horrible every few minutes. The smell was so bad that I almost vomited when it first filled my nostrils as I also had my mouth open at the time. It was like clockwork. Every few minutes the smell returned just as pungent as before.

I finally noticed that right before the smell appeared the little old Indian woman next to met would shift in her seat. My overall mood began to slowly change with each passing minute. I decided I would let her know that I knew what she was doing the next time she shifted in her seat, so sure enough when she started to shift a few minutes later I turned and looked right at her. With a nice little smile on her face she stared back at me, slowly lifted the leg closest to mine, and proceeded to keep that leg slightly raised for at least a minute. What’s worse is that I actually sort of felt some air on my hand. Yes this woman was farting on me. I didn’t know what to do and had to resign myself to just putting tissue in my nostrils, turning on my Ipod, and praying the landing would come soon.

Tagged as: flatulence, odor