The Malodorous MD

September 22, 2009

in Odor Stories

In the Los Angeles LAX airport, there was an odor wafting above the sea of people waiting to board a direct flight from LA to Boston. It just was awful, and I couldn’t identify what it was.

I boarded the plane and was seated towards the back of the aircraft. I noticed the odor again and that it grew stronger as this man was coming down the aisle. He stopped at the row I was sitting in and sat down. I almost vomited. He stank so badly, it was unreal. Then another man sat down in my row to complete the seating (with the stinky guy in the middle).

All through the 5 hr flight, this guy would raise his arms to cuddle his head and I’d start gagging. At one point he turned and asked the guy to his left if he noticed any odor about the seat. The other guy said he hadn’t noticed anything. Then the stinky guy introduced himself to that other guy as a doctor and took out his laptop and proceeded to work on a “paper” he needed for a lecture. Although he was a doctor, I remember thinking he was a clueless bastard who should have known better when it came to personal cleanliness. I heard him later admit to the guy on his left that he had been travelling for 3 days and didn’t have a chance to shower. The other guy said “it’s ok.”

I sure wished I had eaten beans before that flight, just so I could toot away every time that jerk moved. Airlines should take passengers aside and place them at the back of the plane if they stink. I paid a lot of money only to be sickened by a supposedly well-educated person who really had no excuse to not dab a wet cloth under and around himself to clean up. Even the flight staff were holding their breaths when they walked by. If I’m ever in that situation again, I’ll throw my drink on the offensive party, telling them to “wash up, pig.”

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Hugh September 23, 2009 at 12:18 am

Please let us know how tossing that drink works out for you. I can't wait to hear that post, finding out about the hell of being zip-tie handcuffed and jailed when you arrive and the charged with assault. Please, let us know how that works out for you. You have obviously never done any strenuous travel for work. Sometimes with missed connections, late flights, reschedules and a brutal schedule you can't always be fresh as a daisy. Then to top it off, you end up in the middle seat next to some self absorbed, whiney fucktard.


saw September 24, 2009 at 6:56 am

When it gets like that for me, I go into a club and get a shower. There are a number at LAX. You should always carry a change of underwear and a clean shirt in your carry-on too, so that you have something to put on afterwards that doesn't stink. If the guy was SO stinky, that you could smell him in the terminal like you did, the airline should have offered him a free lounge pass and arranged for a shower. Costs them nothing – improves customer service 100 fold. During a severe delay, I've asked for, and been given, free passes myself. Though I now belong to the club, sometimes you still need to pay (can't afford to join them ALL).


Demotage September 26, 2009 at 2:57 am

I can’t see any excuse whatsoever for going 3 days without a shower, no matter how busy you are. Traveling for 3 days? So what? Did he sleep on the street? He must have come within range of a shower at some point. As Saw pointed out, there are showers at the airport you can use.

This was just a self-absorbed jack-ass. I would have asked the flight attendant to move me. I don’t care if he was embarrassed. He should be.


Leave a Comment
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous post:

Next post: