Hubby Announces Wife Stinks

May 4, 2009

in Odor Stories

So my husband and I booked our first overseas flight, I didn’t know what to expect, I am a fairly new flyer. So we ended up on a Jumbo Jet to Amsterdam and we were sitting in the middle three rows of the plane. We get settled into our seats and this guy comes to sit in the last seat next to us. He’s one of the last guys to board and the plane is jam packed. This guy comes and lifts his bags into the overhead compartment… hitting me with the biggest whiff of underarm BO. It was like a punch to the nose. I turn to WHISPER to my husband about this guy and how I was going to be stuck next to him, but before I can say a word… my husband looks at me and practically shouts, “DAMN STINKY!!!!” – TO ME!!!!

Like 10 people from the right side of the plane then turn to look at me with disgust, and I am livid, but by then the stinky guy has plunked down next to me and I have no choice but to hiss at my husband that it wasn’t me. Then to make matters worse… this guy has brought his own huge bag of Boston Beans… those candied peanut things… Urgh… so it’s like a Roasted Armpit of Peanut smell and then the guy decides it’s a great time to jump up and take off his jacket, and sit down and ramble on and on to me about living in Holland, which I know sells deodorant… I saw it there, and how it’s great blah blah blah, but the entire 9 hour flight, my third and final leg of the trip, the part of the trip where I thought I’d be able to catch a few Z’s but no… I was being inundated with this overly friendly Dutch Dude’s not so helpful tourism speech and was being smogged out by Pit BO and his peanut breath, and not to mention that the dude wouldn’t stay seated, so every new movement brought a fresh wave of funk. Impossible to sleep.

By the time we got to Amsterdam and got settled into our hotel my husband and I had been up for 31 hours. But I think of it fondly now… my husband has since learned that any odor announcements had better be kept to a decibel level below the roar of jet engines or he’s getting tossed out of the plane next time!

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Roto13 May 5, 2009 at 10:09 am

You should have made your husband switch seats with you. 😛


anon May 27, 2009 at 9:08 am

Your husband is a crass jerk. Period.


Rob May 27, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Does your husband have tourettes?

"and ramble on and on to me about living in Holland, which I know sells deodorant…"


Maggie May 13, 2015 at 2:18 am

I have learned from experience, when I truly need sleep, I announce to whomever's bending my ear: "Okay, I need to sleep now." and nod off (or at least fake it til I actually do). It usually shuts them up.


Gia June 29, 2018 at 6:39 pm

Sorry but what's wrong with your husband that he should assume it's you when you've been with him all a long and then try to openly embarrass you over it? Or why would he want to create more of a situation with the possibility of embarrassing the man you're sitting right next to? Sure, I'd feel like telling Nels he needed to take a bathetoo, but if nothing else, the guy was trying to be nice. Your husband, not so much.


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