Yakking Yuppie

November 20, 2007

in Passenger Stories

Here’s a note scribed to my friends while I was on a cross country flight home recently:

Sitting on the flight home from Seattle just starting to doze… The poster boy for yuppiedom came from first class to chat with an elderly couple he knows sitting in the row in front of me. Plunked his bloated body in the row (Blackberry strapped to his side like Batman’s utility belt) and keeps hitting my foot, which I’m now ready to jam into his shin.

Among the highlights:

If I hear the words “Venture Capitalist” one more time I’m going to gouge his eyes out.

My iPod is up to 11 and I can still here his incessant, self-absorbed droning.

His first-born spawn is applying to Yale and Johns Hopkins — ooh my fingers are crossed! All he knows is that his boy “is going somewhere nice.”

When the flight attendant kindly offered to change his seat so he wouldn’t be kneeling in the aisle, constantly having to rise and let people pass, he dismissed her and said, “I’m going to stay right here and talk to my friends.” Subtext – I don’t give a rat’s ass about the 8 rows of people I’m irritating with my loud mouth.

Two more hours until landing…let’s hope the beverage cart comes through soon or someone tells him to shut the f*+k up.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

fuzzbeans April 2, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Clearly you missed the memo about this important man who's meeting with big, big VENTURE CAPITALISTS!


Gregg April 2, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Jealous, much?


fjackie April 2, 2009 at 4:07 pm

I agree. I hate douchebags like this.


prometheus April 3, 2009 at 6:06 am


so fuzzbeans is "jealous" now. right. you must be the arsehole from the story.


Tarmaie April 3, 2009 at 6:44 pm

I write rants about my flights to my friends as well. Makes it more amusing and less like I want to do bodily harm to people.


Kay April 3, 2009 at 8:04 pm

Uh…"let's hope the beverage cart comes through soon or someone tells him to shut the f*+k up"?

Some reason THE WRITER couldn't have told him to shut up???

Good grief. Why is it that so many people bitch about something *they* could have tried to do something about? Why does it always have to be someone else?


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