Kidney Stones And Eva: The Dreadful Duo

October 30, 2007

in Illness/Medical Stories

I had travelled to beautiful Fort Huachuca, Arizona, to attend a military conference. Unfortunately. I was forced to spend the three days of the conference in the local hospital enduring treatment for kidney stones. Following surgery to remove said stones, I was released (with a final dose of Demerol and other pain meds) and subsequently driven to the Tucson airport by an outstanding young soldier who apparently was unable to read the signs that clearly stated “Tucson Airport This Way.”

Rather than walking me in, he slowed down and allowed me to leap out of the vehicle to go to the ticket counter. After checking in, I staggered thru the airport looking for my gate. Success! As I boarded the flight, I informed the less-than-cheerful flight attendant (whom I shall refer to as “Eva”, as in Eva Braun) that I had just been released from the hospital, and needed help putting my pack in the overhead storage bin. Eva’s response: “There’s no way I’m touchin’ that pack – I can’t afford to go on disability”. If I hadn’t been rendered mostly incoherent by the drugs, I probably would have stuffed her in the overhead bin. Luckily, a guardian angel, in the person of a little old Dr. Ruth look-alike, grabbed my bag and easily tossed it into the overhead. I thanked her, and collapsed into my seat.

We arrived in Phoenix, and I found I had to stagger thru the airport (again) to change planes. At least I wouldn’t have to put up with Eva the Flight Attendant, or so I thought. As I walked down the ramp to board the plane, who should greet me but . . . Eva Braun. Apparently, the crew was also changing planes – what luck! She gave me an icy stare, but before she could tell me why she couldn’t assist me I walked right past her. I collapsed into my seat and didn’t wake up until I reached Seattle. Needless to say, I have never (and will never) fly XXX (rhymes with Flamerica Chest) Airlines again.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

jose April 3, 2009 at 8:18 am

this is stupid – stop feeling sorry for yourself and crying like a little bitch. if everyone in the military is as much a pussy as you are, it's no wonder the US is losing the wars in the middle east


Soop April 5, 2009 at 5:38 am

I am siding with OP on this… seriously, when did people get so unwilling to help other people??

Any responsible airline employee – and, for that matter, a responsible human being – should have responded, "I'm sorry, I'm unable to lift that for you, but let's see if we can find someone else to help you." And then find another FA or friendly passenger or whatever.

And as an aside – there are certain job requirements for FA's, like being able to lift things up to 30 lbs. If she couldn't do that – she shouldn't have been working!


F April 10, 2009 at 6:56 am

it is not a job requirement for an FA to lift any carry-on bags, no matter the weight, for passengers. If an FA does so, it is on his/her own risk. That means if the FA gets an injury as a result, they will not be covered. It is not without reason that size and weight of carry-on's is limited. If you can't lift it yourself, CHECK IT. If all FA's were to put pax luggage into the overheads all the time, they would not be able to work more than a few years maybe. That said, Eva Braun could have explained this in a more diplomatic manner. Everyone has their bad days


Rob April 25, 2009 at 6:47 pm

Let's pretend I am a FA. I am not.

Now, as an FA, I might fly many, many hours (not all of them awake of course) on several trips. Everyone would expect me to be 'perky' – what's the man equivalent of perky?

Anyways, any plane I'm assigned to can have 70-370 people on it. Who thinks I would be interested in lifting a 5 pound bag, let alone a military bag? IF it is camo, and the person who owns it has a short hair cut, I'll bet it's more than a few pounds because the military only knows how to ADD weight, not streamline equipment.

Kidney stones hurt like a sonofabitch, but this is just whining. Eva Braun committed suicide with her husband (not that I think he was a cool guy)…a level of loyalty it is unfair to expect from today's overworked FA's.

If you don't like flying coach, take a military transport next time and see how much sympathy you get from those rats.

And beautiful Huachuca? You trying to date a girl there? The place is a nightmare of sun and NO shade.


patsytp March 20, 2016 at 6:34 am

Good 'job' you're not a FA, let alone a pilot. To me, FAs are there to be greeted by passengers with thanks and courtesy; and if you do it sincerely, they will generally look after you ( hence why I always fly Emirates as opposed to "Western" airlines who's crew couldn't care a less generally… but I cannot understand why someone who has put their life on the line for ttheir country would be treated with such contempt. As far as I'm concerned, no matter how many airmiles people have (generally courtesy of the company they work for anyway, not their own purse) should be behind serving military and veterans anyway. Unless you pay to get bumped up, then don't whinge. And the whingers are generally always those that have never dipped into their own pockets to accrue the points, anyway.


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