Pile Of Puke

June 29, 2010

in Airport Stories

My story is not so much a flight from hell as hilarity. I’m in the security queue at MIA – the usual tedious routine of shuffling forward two inches every 10 seconds, slowly travelling the cordoned zig zag area designed to maximize the walking distance between two points.

Behind me a mother and her young son are chatting away when he proclaims, “Mom, my tummy feels funny.” People are now looking very carefully at the boy, while his mother says not to worry – it’ll be okay.

A few seconds later, the kid ducks under the cordon and violently barfs onto the floor. Little did the kid know that he had strategically puked into the middle of the business and first class “fast track” cordoned pathway that goes straight to the front of the security queue.

Now, two things – one, MIA has seen it appropriate to fit vomit fleck colored carpet in the terminal, so well designed that the thick pile of puke is extraordinarily camouflaged, and two – the entire cattle-class security queuing public is avidly looking up the fast track line to see who is going to walk in it first.

In walks fur clad, overly matching travel case lady, with three pieces of luggage on the trolley – she hits the puke where the wheels bog down and tread fully into the soaked carpet. Looking down to see what the problem is, she suddenly starts to shreak in terror at her now ruined expensive shoes. Cue much sniggering in the security queue. Certaintly entertained the troops for the 30 minute wait.

Lastly – who fits carpet in an airport terminal? Disgusting, worn out, duct tape mended, unsightly floor coverings are the sign of a depressing airport terminal. If you want class, check out Copenhagen’s beautiful solid wood floors – perfect for slightly softer yet easy to maintain floor.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

epic win June 29, 2010 at 9:27 pm

LMFAO! I'm sure there'll be some griping about how this story is "classist", but I found it hilarious.

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Hugh June 29, 2010 at 11:18 pm

So, rather than telling the person heading towards it to wacth out, you instead watched as she walked into the vomit. Classy, truly classy. I hope someone in the future shows YOU or your family this kind of courtesy.

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MM June 30, 2010 at 2:00 am

She was wearing fur though! FUR IS MURDER.

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ElegantE July 1, 2010 at 9:44 am

It could have been faux fur. I usually fly first class due to my airline elite status and wear faux fur all the time… granted I rarely wear it while traveling as I have more appropriate traveling clothes.

Spreading germs around is reprehensible. Allowing them to be spread is equally so.

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memee June 30, 2010 at 7:33 am

I am actually going to agree with Hugh. Besides spreading germs around, someone on the plane will write on here about puke smell.And how do you know it was actually fur? Could have been faux? Do you wear leather shoes, belts? Any leather on your suitcase? Are you vegen?I agree fur is nasty, but so is leaving vomit for others to step in or slip on. Are we that jealous of those who can travel first class?

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Jodi June 30, 2010 at 9:29 am

This was utterly tasteless. I cannot believe that nobody in the line said a word and just let this poor woman walk in puke. What is this world coming to? She could have been really injured (in a fall) and more than likely not only caught but spread whatever vial thing was making the poor boy puke. For the record, I don’t believe in wearing real fur, but I do have a jacket that looks like real fur, but its totally synthetic. Up close you can tell the difference but even I wasn’t sure when I first walked up to it.

Boy you sure taught a lesson here, but it wasn’t to the lady walking down the first class aisle, she probably already thought you were all classless in the other aisle and thus you proved her right. You did teach a lesson to all the children in the line you were in though. You taught them to be mean to a fellow human being. Proud of yourself? In my book you’re all losers and no better than the puke.

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Josh July 1, 2010 at 3:38 am

I found it very funny. Nothing irks me more than watching a a mother struggling with the luggage of the 2 children she's traveling with while waiting in line, and watching a wealthy man with a briefcase waltz to the front of the line ahead of her.

I know he paid for better treatment, but the courteous thing to do would be to let the mother go first. If they can't be courteous to the coach passengers, why should they expect courtesy in return?

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Susan September 15, 2010 at 7:48 pm

So instead of one of you jerks standing in the queue taking two seconds out of your time to tell this poor woman she is about to step in fresh vomit, you'd rather have her track the vomit onto the plane, where the rest of you dumbasses are going to tread through her trail on your way back to coach and have to deal with stale vomit smell for the duration of your flight. Smart.

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