Haunted By Passenger’s Public Potty Time

October 22, 2009

in Senior Stories

I once boarded a flight from Minneapolis to Phoenix a few years ago… this was on an airline that did assigned seating. I ended up somehow sitting between a very elderly French couple. I gladly tried to trade seats with one of them so they could sit together except that not only did the stewardess have a fit about keeping assigned seats, but the couple didn’t seem to understand a word of English and didn’t seem to indicate they were alert enough to notice someone in between them. So whatever, I stayed in the seat and the flight got under way.

The older man (who looked like he was in dire need of an oxygen supply) started signaling that he needed to get up, so I motioned the woman on my other side that he was trying to get her attention. It took the woman enough time just to manage to get out of her seat, but finally she did and then I followed after her. The old man attempted to get out of his seat only to lose his hold on the seat back in front of him and plopped right back down. After a second attempt he managed to squirm his way out (at what seemed like a glacial pace). He made his way to the bathroom which was in the mid-section of the plane only a few seats up… the wife finally caught on to my indication that we should trade seats so she sat down in the middle seat and I took up the aisle seat.

The old man must have forgotten to lock the door, because nobody else had this problem, but surely enough a woman came up and flung open the door to reveal the poor old man planted firmly on the toilet seat with his pants at his ankles and a completely unaware stare on his face! He seemed totally oblivious to the fact that everyone in the 4-5 rows near that door was so boldly exposed to his pasty whites (and I’m not just referring to the underwear!).  As you can imagine this young twenty-something college girl was quite embarrassed (to say the least) and ran back to her seat. Not even 2 minutes later another person comes down the aisle and flings the bathroom door wide open once again to reveal the old half naked man doing his business–this gentleman not quite as phased goes into the next bathroom.

At this point I feel bad for the old man, and I’m tired of seeing him on the john from my front row seat! I decide to start guarding the door and listening for any evidence of completion (a flush or something). After about 10 minutes I started to wonder if the man had died or something and went back to my seat to try and erase the vivid mental images of this guy burned into my retinas. In all I think the old man was in the bathroom for about 25 minutes before he finally made his way back to the seat at the same glacial pace he left it–neither he or the wife appeared any the wiser as to his potty time exhibitionism. In fact, I still don’t think either of them were alert enough to even notice it. Alas the image still haunts my dreams at night; no one should ever have to go through such a horrifying ordeal!

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

The Un Racist one November 25, 2010 at 1:00 am

Weird guy

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