Like Pleats On A Dress

November 8, 2009

in Portly Stories

Two years ago, I was in my window seat on the 2-seat side of an MD-80 and this very large (est. 400+ lbs) woman sat next to me, apologized while she put the arm rest up, and then then proceeded to arrange her folds of fat, like they were pleats on a dress.  She literally took a fold of side-fat and draped it over my arm where it then flopped down onto my leg.  I had a choice of leaving my arm there, or instead to put my arm on top of her fat like an arm rest – both of which seemed equally gross.  I did have to opt for the latter option after an hour or so, because my arm had become so hot, encased as it was in fat, that it was sweating profusely.  The only mitigating factor was that the woman was very apologetic about the whole thing- which made me feel bad for her.

Demotage

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Just Me November 8, 2009 at 5:56 pm

That is sooo foul!!

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Captain Art Griego November 9, 2009 at 10:11 am

Cast ye not stones at another person's obeseness, Demotage. There for but by the grace of GOD go you or I.

GOD bless you-

Captain Art Griego

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Demotage November 10, 2009 at 7:18 am

Gee "Captain",

I believe that if you could read as well as you can crash a plane, you'd see that no aspersions were cast. My account was completely descriptive.

By the way, the reference to your reading skills? THAT is an aspersion.

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Josh November 10, 2009 at 8:45 am

Oh sweet irony. A person "casting stones" at another person for supposedly "casting stones". It is not your place to judge just as it's not his place to judge.

I agree, though. It sounds like a very uncomfortable flight. The fact that she was apologetic is great, though. Most people wouldn't care enough to apologize for the discomfort.

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JL November 13, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Next time, do not under any circumstances allow the Passenger of Size raise the armrest. Call over the FA and, as discreetly as possible, advise of the situation and request to be reseated. The Passenger of Size should have been required to buy two seats. I am firmly of the belief that someone who has any part of his or her seat taken up by another passenger should be refunded a pro rata share of that fare or offered Involuntary Denied Boarding compensation.

This is just a fact. No judgments, only that no one should have to suffer due to someone else's circumstances.

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Mark December 3, 2009 at 1:00 am

Apparently Demotage is obese as well. Is this a vicarious fiction? IMHO, yes.

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Demotage December 3, 2009 at 6:37 am

Mark,

we can reveal a lot about ourselves in these posts, either explicitely as when I revealed my weight problems in order to lend some credibility to my views on the difficulty of weight loss, or implicitely as you do in this post.

First, what is "vicarious fiction" exactly?

vi·car·i·ous [vahy-kair-ee-uhs, vi-]

–adjective

1. performed, exercised, received, or suffered in place of another: vicarious punishment.

2. taking the place of another person or thing; acting or serving as a substitute.

3. felt or enjoyed through imagined participation in the experience of others: a vicarious thrill.

4. Physiology. noting or pertaining to a situation in which one organ performs part of the functions normally performed by another.

So the first thing you reveal about yourself is that you are the kind of person who likes to throw big words around without knowing what they actually mean.

Since you tied it to my weight, you must be implying that I am substituting my own weight problems onto someone else. But in that case it would not be fiction, it would simply be vicarious. If it were fiction, then nothing is being substituted, so it can't be vicarious.

But more than the semantics of your post, the implication that because I'm overweight, I'm less credible, reveals you to be an asshole. Combine that with the fact that you need to express that by using big words incorrectly, and you reveal yourself to be an ignorant asshole? Or is that being redundant?

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Britt December 14, 2009 at 10:12 pm

Way to go Demotage! Though I may not agree with you on your views of the story, the way you put people in thier place is Hilarious! Hooray for someone who know how to use proper english and understands what they are saying!

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