Gas Warfare

April 4, 2009

in Odor Stories

For several years I was a very frequent flyer. The first year or two of my travel days, when I would get on the plane, I would have to walk by those snobby, rich, too good for me, first class people to reach my seat in the back of the plane. Being a person of such talent to pass gas at will, I would always leave the first class passengers a little memento. This would always bring a smile to my face.

About my third year of flying I had enough flyer points to upgrade all my flights to first class. There I was, for the first time in first class. What a joy, I was invited onto the plane before all others, I was given complimentary drinks, the seats much larger and more comfortable than those I have been accustom to. It was absolute heaven. When the “lower class” passengers began to board the plane, wouldn’t you know it!!! One of them passed gas right on me with the most foul of all smells.

What comes around – goes around.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Karl April 2, 2009 at 2:07 pm

I don't believe one word this person wrote and btw, I can afford 1 st class tickets but I am still a down to earth guy. If you ever fart next to me i make sure i will embarrass you in front of all passengers.

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Nacho April 8, 2009 at 5:15 am

Haha, karma at its finest. But something tells me you won't think twice about doing it again the next time you're walking back to coach.

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Demotage April 10, 2009 at 7:10 pm

You, apparently don't have any problem admitting to being a prime douchbag. Some people pride themselves on their talent of playing the piano, or doing surgery, inventing products or administering food banks, but hey! Enjoy your own unique talent.

BTW, if we end up on the same flight, point yourself out. I have a "talent" of being able to projectile vomit on command. I'd like to try it out on you.

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A April 13, 2009 at 10:40 am

Why do you assume people sitting in first class are snobby? You sound much more judgmental to me. Just because someone could pay more for an airline ticket than you does not mean they are rude or think they are better than anyone else. You might be surprised to find that people with money are very gracious and generous.

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Anonymous April 17, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Uhhh, guys, this didn't happen. This story is undoubtedly fictional.

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Anonymous April 21, 2009 at 8:26 am

LOL

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Hugh April 27, 2009 at 6:44 am

I throw th BS flag on this. If it is true, I hope the author gets this constantly. Just because someone is 1st class doesn't make them a bad person. Maybe they fly a great deal for work, an dfinally got enough points to upgrade and a chance to enjoy a flight, and you feel it necessary to punish them for it? You sir, are an ass…if this is even true.

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Nut Ass May 2, 2009 at 11:02 am

I think the writer is full of # 2 and needs to fess up that they made this up. Nasty minded.

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Rob May 27, 2009 at 5:59 pm

Pass gas at will? That makes you different from the other 7 billion humans unless you always hold your gas.

Probably gives you a clownish walk doing that. Maybe the superior attitude you detected was them watching someone walk like an ass for no obvious reason.

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Mark December 2, 2009 at 7:20 am

In most cases you don't even "walk past 1st class", and there's No Way In Hell that two years of any sort of "very frequent flying" will allow many 1st class upgrades. Let alone the fact that almost no domestic carrier even offers 1st class. Boring bullshit.

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loveplanes September 5, 2015 at 1:44 pm

mark you said almost NO domestic carrier so that means there are some so give the OP a break it could happen.

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